My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
