i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
