Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
