Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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