he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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