so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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