I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
