i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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