My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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