Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize