these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
