it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
