im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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