I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
