she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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