I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
