Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
don't judge my taste in strippers
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize