Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
