I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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