if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
