My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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