dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
