i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
