Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
