My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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