i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize