it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
