What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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