fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
