Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
