i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
