Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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