Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize