Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize