Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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