Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
