so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
