we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize