White coat. Heels.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
