He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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