im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
