lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
