Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
