super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize