i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
