My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
