Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
