Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
