My hair reeks of homosexuality.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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