Me too!
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize