As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
