Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize