I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My liver just had a heart attack.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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