So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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