Non-Jews are for practice
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
