It's like a parade of train wrecks.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Boobs are out for the taking
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
