As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
