So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize