theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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